IFS Therapy for Sex and Intimacy
Based in Virginia Beach and serving clients across VA, MD, & FL.
Sex doesn't feel natural or easy for you.
When there’s a sex scene in a movie, you tense up, wondering what your spouse is thinking. You know they want more intimacy, but it’s something you haven’t been able to share with them. This doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you, and you aren’t the only one feeling this way.
Do any of these resonate?
You Have Panic Attacks During Sex
You know you’re safe with your spouse, but something in your body doesn’t feel safe. You have panic attacks during sex or jump every time they try to hug you from behind.
You Worry Your Spouse Will Leave
You know your spouse misses the sense of connection, and that your lack of interest in sex stings. They may not have said they’ll leave, but the thought still eats at you.
Anxiety Gets in the Way of Pleasure
Anxiety makes you tense during sex, keeping you in your head and reinforcing that sex isn’t enjoyable. You may have a sense that past trauma is adding to your discomfort.
You’re Self-Conscious About Your Body
You worry about how you look or what your spouse thinks. Even if your spouse is nothing but complimentary, your own self-criticism takes over.
About IFS and Sex Therapy
Sex therapy can help you reconnect to your body in a new way, let go of difficult or traumatic sexual experience experiences that lead to tight muscles or pain, talk to your partner more openly about sex and how you feel, and find ways to connect to sexuality or playfulness that work for you.
The Logistics
I see clients in-person in my Virginia Beach office, and I provide online sex therapy for clients residing in Virginia, Maryland, and Florida- whichever is easiest for you.
In our first few sessions, we spend time getting to know each other. We’ll talk about what you’re experiencing, where you’re struggling the most, what your fears are, and how you’d like sex or your relationship to be different.
You might want to use therapy to talk about whatever issue is bothering you each week. Or you might want to target one specific issue or goal that we come back to each week, such as anxiety leading to pain during sex, communicating your sexual needs, or increasing your level of desire. We can work together to figure out what will be most helpful.
How IFS Therapy for Sex and Intimacy Helps
I am a Certified Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapist. IFS is a type of therapy that helps you better understand your emotions, connect with your body, and feel more calm and centered.
Sometimes, one part of you wants to enjoy sex and feel close to your partner, but another part feels anxious, ashamed, or shut down. Even when you know you're safe, your body might respond with tension or fear.
IFS helps us get curious about what's happening and why.
We might work on:
Reducing anxiety around sex.
Explore the fears and emotional patterns that make intimacy stressful, so you can approach physical closeness with greater ease.
Communicating your needs.
Understand your needs, and feel more comfortable talking about sex with your partner.
Working through difficult or traumatic experiences.
If you experienced childhood sexual abuse, assault, or a toxic relationship, we can work through them at a pace that works for you.
Rediscovering pleasure and playfulness.
Learn what intimacy and sexuality mean to you, without the pressure to perform.
If you're experiencing vaginismus or painful intercourse, therapy can also help address anxiety, stress, or past trauma that may be contributing to your symptoms. I can collaborate with your medical provider or a pelvic floor physical therapist to support a mind-body approach.