Do you feel stuck repeating the same patterns, no matter how much you want to change?
No amount of traditional talk therapy, positive affirmations, or telling yourself you’ll do better seems to help. You worry that deep down, you can’t change because something is wrong with you.
Maybe the problem isn’t you. Maybe you need a different method.
What is Internal Family Systems therapy?
Internal Family Systems, or IFS, is based on the idea that it’s normal for people to have many different sub-personalities, or “parts.”
If you’ve ever told yourself you would stop doing something you know is destructive, then been overpowered by the urge to do it anyway, then you have parts too, and they’re in conflict.
IFS assumes that every part of you is there for a good reason, even parts that are destructive. They may have helped you in the past, or they may be serving you in some way now.
In IFS, we work on getting to know your parts and developing more compassion for them. Since IFS is experiential therapy, we don’t just talk about parts like you might in traditional talk therapy. We talk to parts, allowing you to form a new relationship with them.
IFS can help with a variety of issues, including:
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relationship issues
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anxiety and overwhelm
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out of control behaviors
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anger
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people pleasing
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self criticism or feeling not good enough
How IFS can help.
After doing IFS, clients find that the issues that brought them to therapy stop being so intense. For example, clients struggling with relationship issues feel calmer during conflict with their partner. Clients who are struggling with destructive behaviors no longer feel a such a strong pull to do the behavior.
This is because Internal Family Systems therapy helps parts relax. They stop taking over so much, and the internal battle gives way to a feeling of calm.
What to expect.
During sessions, we’ll work together to identify the parts that you’re struggling with.
If you have a specific goal, like ending an affair or repairing your relationship with your spouse, we'll focus on the parts contributing to your relationship issues. If you have lots of things to work on, I can help you decide what parts you want to focus on first, or we'll base sessions on whatever you need each week.
Rather than criticize, suppress, or rationalize your parts away, we explore how they serve you. You’ll develop more awareness of what parts are present at any given time, and help parts operate differently- so they no longer cause harm to you and your relationships.
IFS can help you:
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Reduce anxiety, overthinking, and worrying
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Stop blowing up or shutting down during conflict
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Decide whether to repair or leave your marriage
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Understand the deeper reasons underlying infidelity
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Feel more grounded during difficult conversations with your spouse
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End destructive or harmful behaviors